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Sunday, August 23, 2009
Hope I have no idea how to articulate my words and emotions... This post is really just the outpouring of what I'm feeling now, and is not expected to make sense...

In these one years and seven months since you've got attached, I've never allowed myself to have the smallest bit of hope.I snuffed it out whenever I felt that it was possible that I could be together with you again.
After all, why would you want to come back to me? Even if you were to break up, there are literally multitudes of guys going after you.
And yet...Seeing what you wrote, just thinking that I might have the smallest chance, rips off the scab over the pain...
Who can I talk to? Who do I trust?
Do I return to my immature year one days of that dumb crush? Fake grins and obvious emo-ness? Wasting my own and every's time?
Or do I reenact the time in year 3 when we really broke up? Completely break down and be only be held together by obligations?
Or Do I act the way I do during training when I'm unhappy? hold it in so training can run smoothly?
What should I do? How should I act? How should I talk to you again...?
Funny thing hope is...Why aren't I laughing then? Why is it hurting just to think I might be able to see you again...?
the fudging began at 12:22 AM

Friends:
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friend's name here
friend's name here
friend's name here
friend's name here
friend's name here
friend's name here
friend's name here
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Thanks to:
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